Shunned in High School 12/21/07

I hate waking up from a dream with that totally exhasperated feeling, like everything is wrong and the world is out to get you. And you can't tell if it's the present or the past or the future and then you just lay there and cry because of everything that you remember from the dream.

I sat here reading through some of my old dream posts because I know I've dreamt this before but I guess it must have been after the last entry I wrote here. Or maybe it was before I started blogging my dreams. I don't know.

I'm back in South Dakota and I'm in high school again and mom and dad are there but they're kind of just in the background and not really an active part of the dream. I don't really even want to go into that much detail but here's the short version of it.

Everyone I run across hates me. I've done something to piss them off or I'm just "stupid and a bitch" and they don't like me. Monica is pissed at me and won't even see me, Micki and her mom Tammy are like practically telling me I need to go commit suicide and Micki's about to leave. She's going somewhere I don't know where and she's like "After I leave, you should just drive off a bridge. It would save everybody else a lot of trouble. You're even hurting Mikayla." And I was like crying in frustration and I said to myself gawd Mikayla don't get yourself worked up because of a stupid snivelling little bitch.

And I like had made plans to go help out at the carnival and stuff, and even the people there were like go away, we don't need help from the likes of you. People just kind of stared and laughed and shit at me and I was running home. I got cornered by some asshole telling me that he was gonna rape me but I'm not worth his time.

I finally got home and mom has some little boy with her and he's helping her make pizzas and I was in the garage just trying to calm down and figure out what was going on, then Tasha shows up with her boyfriend Adam, and Mikayla. And Mikayla is even pissed at me and Adam's all gloating because he always hated me, even in r/l, and would do anything he could to make me upset or cry. So I start begging and pleading with Mikayla to tell me what's wrong and tell me what I did so I can make up for it and she's like.. "Don't get pissed over a stupid snivelling little bitch? How could you call Micki that?"

And Tasha like laughs maniacally and Adam's all stupid with glee and Mikayla just gets up and walks off and it's all because of Micki. Everybody in the whole gawd damn town is mad at me because of MICKI and there's nothing I can do to fix it. And the little boy my mom has helping her make pizzas is her new son and she doesn't need me anymore. He's all cute and adorable and sweet and helping her like a good little boy.

I woke up while I was running around sobbing and trying to find Dad to see if he could explain it to me. Laid there in bed and just cried for a bit because I remember feeling like that. Like everyone hated me and I couldn't do anything right. And people getting pissed at me because of Micki. Her turning people against me. Tasha turning people against me. All the time. And other people like Casey and I forget who else. Because I was smart or because I was fat or because I wasn't just falling in line with what they wanted to do and fawning over their supreme awesomeness.

The cat finally stopped me from crying. Zoot came over and started licking the tears away. I can't even go back to sleep now and it's been an hour and a half since I woke up. I don't know why I keep dreaming about Micki lately. It doesn't make any sense. I wish I had an answer so I knew what she wanted or what was going on and I could put a stop to this.

Fevered Dreams Update 12/16/06

So there have been a lot of extremely weird dreams in the past two days, while I've got the flu and a fever. Most I don't even remember now, but I figured I'd write down the ones I do. Joy for the flu and fevers.

--

The first one basically involves me being a guy. It's around Christmas time. I'm at a relative's house, it's about a week or so before Christmas I guess. I've got a little sister, she's around 14 or so. I'm about 25-26. I gave her one of her Christmas presents early and she basically is like... "Oh... that's..... nice........ thanks..." And I was kind of upset that she didn't like my present and my cousins or whatever were like laughing their asses off saying I'm a crappy big brother and she's a teenager now she doesn't want dolls and shit. And I was like dude.. no.. she's only 14. But.. I gave in, and got her like some makeup stuff and clothes and I figured fuck it if that's what she really wants then fine. But then I caught here with one of the neighbor boys fucking in the garage and I was like ohmygawd no, you're not getting makeup you're too irresponsible to wear that shit, you're just a kid and blah blah blah. I went off for like ever in the dream about it then finally woke up. Kind of bizarre and pointless.. whatever.


Then there was another dream before that, that I don't remember any details about, except that it involved a school.


Today... there was this one dream. I was with my dad.. and I had a baby. And we were with another family, but we were on the run from something. All stowed away in the back of this semi that Dad was driving. And we were going through Memphis. Right before we hit the old Memphis bridge, Dad swerved and hit this patch of mud and the semi went rolling tumbling crashing and we're like all shaken up. Get out of the semi and I'm sobbing because the baby is screaming and flailing and we have to keep running and other things happened but I don't remember now. I don't know what we were runnning from either.


After that was... I was being taken on a tour of this school. There were somewhat normal classes for the younger elementary students, but everything, every class is more directed towards a profession instead of general studies. There's one cafeteria for the normal younger students, then there's a separate cafeteria for the older "special" students. We were allowed to smoke down there. They ordered out for food, like pizza or Chinese, etc. So then I resume the touring of the classes, and I remember there's one class that's like for.. journalism or something. Creative writing, photography.. things you have to know to work on a newspaper. And then there's the music class.

The music teacher was this older guy.. he reminds me of the.. one actor, from the movie about the communist painter from Mexico. Frida was the movie, about Frida Kahlo and her husband Diego Rivera, played by Alfred Molina. And I'm not sure why that's important but I felt the need to write it down. At any rate, he's like teaching them how to set up a stage, and wire things, and tune guitars, and hook up the amps etc. And he like stops what he's doing and tells the class that I'm there for a demonstration. He basically bends me over, undresses me, puts me over this.. platform thing with one of the wedge cushions and fucks the hell out of me. Right there. And afterwards he's like grinding against me and stuff and nudging my ass with his cock and like.. I don't know, something came out and it was embarassing and he's like.. you didn't even make any noises and that just.. ok.. And he gives me a towel to clean up with, and he's explaining about.. this happens for this reason, and this is the result of that.. and it was like I was a demonstration on how to have sex. So then.. we both got dressed and I joined the class and we went back to learning.

It was so fucked up, gawd.


--


I hate having dreams like this, when I'm sick. Fevers result in such fucked up dreams.

Worst Dream Ever 7/20/06

I just woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. I had to take a shower. I don't know what brought it on or wtf it means and I don't know to know but I felt like I had to write it down so here goes. In part at least. I woke up with blood between my thighs, something's not right about that.

Was somewhere with mom and dad and I wasn't a kid but I was still under their command/authority and.. they were having like marital problems and barely talked and I had a Master somewhere and he had just died and I guess that's why I was back with them? Long story short... Dad made me have sex with him and I just did it I didn't complain or put up a fight I was actually enjoying it and he said a lot of stuff about mom had lost his interest and wasn't I just turning out to be a delectable woman.

I've gotta stop now but I think you get the drift. WTF OMG?? Going to go cry now.

Weird Fucking Dream 5/20/06

It started off with like... we were going around driving or something, it was me and a few kids, and fast food restaurants had just gotten some grant so that their food could be practically free.. just a few cents per meal.. ok.. that's kind of weird but then the dream shifted and....

There was this gorilla.. guy.. thing... that wanted to fuck me.. and like... it was supposed to show up in a few minutes and I'm bitching and sobbing and "please don't make me do this please don't, you can't make me" and trying to finish feeding my baby which... kind of looked like an alien/human hybrid.. and Jason practically tossed the baby on the floor and got up and rolled me over and slapped my ass then left and the gorilla thing came in and it was doing all this grunting hand signals half verbal communication and I was trying to make sure the baby was ok and it kept pulling me back down onto the bed and grabbing my ass squeezing roughly and shit and.. *shudders* It was just very very bad. I'm still sick to my stomach.

Hunting Dogs - Inbred DNA 5/18/06

So I waited too long before I sat down to write this but..

I was Wyatt in this dream I think.. I looked like Wyatt at least. Anyways. With this group of people and learning stuff and then somehow I got trapped by these... deformed... strange looking inbred people things.. and they like.... had their dogs, and they were trained to kill anyone that didn't share their blood line/dna. And so they were like tearing other people around me to shreds.. there were mangled and mutilated bodies all over... fingers torn off and lying around on the ground.. and the dogs like weren't touching me.. they'd sniff and then go off to eat somebody else.. and the inbred people were getting pissed off at me that I wasn't being killed.. and then one of them like... started screaming and hollering about I was related to them.. *sobs*

Other things happened before and after that, but that's all I can remember. It was like a damn B rated horror movie. All blood and guts and stupid cliche villain shit.

Fake Identity 3/30/06

I haven't had many dreams that I can remember lately that aren't smut related to Dean and Jared. Finally have something though and it looks like it's still centered around rp some.

I was about my real age and really thin, female, pretty.. and I was with this guy. I'm starting to think it was J but I don't know who, it might have been no one really. And he's like blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous looking. Smart, sarcastic, blah blah. So we're like dating and stuff and so much of this dream has faded now but we like had a bank account together and we were on a trip of some kind, driving, and we like needed another account for something.. some reason. And so like.. he has me get a new ID, and SSN etc. All new, all totally legit. I don't know how but they were all real. And so like.. we go in and we're applying for the account under my name and there were like these three women behind the counter all gushing and oh you're so adorable together sure we'll get you setup then I gave them my ID and one of them's like.. are you sure this is yours? You don't look like an Alexis.

And I like caught a glimpse of the ID and the name on it was Alexis Dupris (which is my latest char's name that I haven't even gotten to really play with yet). And I'm like whispering to the guy and his name was Jordan.. hmm.. ok so maybe it was Reyn? Or it's just nobody and those were the names my mind came up with. Anyways. So I'm like yes of course that's me and they like scan the barcode on the back of the ID and it's legit and shit and they're like still suspicious but they give us the account and we like.. get a hotel room there in that building..

And so we like are going through the lobby and there's a bunch of girls at a table that we've met up with on this trip and we go over and talk some and the guy leaves to go find something and I'm talking to them and like one grabs my purse to get something out of it and she sees my other ID and she's like.. so.. Alexis.. and I'm like what? And she shove the ID at me and she's like who's this? Who are you really? Alexis or .... and I can't remember the name. And I like.. try to come up with an answer and I can't so I leave and I get in the car and go and..

I'm driving and I think the dream changed some or something cause then all of the sudden I like.. drive down this back road and the car crashes and I get out and I'm shaken and groggy and stuff and then I'm like on his broken down warped old pier at the beach and this old guy comes up and he's like got this weird kind of wheel barrel and with no wheel and he drags it down the steps and it like clicks and thunks as the brackets hit the wood and then he like helps me get up and puts me in the wheel barrel and he like drags me back up the steps and starts to push/drag me back to his place and he's like.. talking and I can't remember what he said or what happened after that.

It was a.. weird dream.

Clay 2/12/06

It was another dream of Clay. I haven't dreamt about him in a while. Influenced I'm sure by the fact that I was aseep in the tub so it's kind of strange but..

I was taking a bath in the tub.. my adult self and mom was there fussing over me like I was still a kid and I was trying to convince her to just leave me alone. Just go away and let me soak. And the doorbell rings and she goes to get it and comes back and leads Clay in there. And it all seems perfectly normal. And so Clay strips down and gets in the tub and he's hugging up on me and tangling his fingers in my hair and whispering he missed me, and I was a bitch for leaving him. And I was just happy to be snuggled into him in the water. The tub just kind of grew to accomodate us I think. And so we're talking and catching up, and it's something about.. working and saving up money and helping people. And why hadn't I kept in touch? We were supposed to work together and we couldn't do what we were meant to apart..

And there was more to it than that.. but it's all fading. *sighs* I always feel so content dreaming about Clay. Then waking up is a bitch. Sad thing is I have no idea how to get hold of him anymore. I don't know where he's living to try 411, can't remember his mom's name to try that way, and I'm sure by now his grandmother's dead. Just have this urgent.. need.. to get hold of him. And I can't. *mumbles* Wonder what's up.

The Shop 2/11/06

I have no idea where I was but I was driving. My real self. And I saw this shop on a service road. And it looked familiar but I didn't know why. So I pulled over and went in and I was looking around and this guy comes out and he's like "I figured you'd be back. It's been a while." And I'm trying to figure out who this guy is and how he knows me, and if I'd been there before. And then for some reason I'm scrounging around for an excuse to be there.

It's a new age type shop. There are crystals all over the place, so many crystals. Books on tarot and wicca and aliens, books on runes, on everything. Incense, prisms, hand blown glass stuff. Silks and sarongs. And this guy is just staying quiet, waiting for me to say something or do something I guess. And I glance down at my hands and my carnelian ring is busted up. The band broke and the stone's crushed a bit. So I took it off and gave it to him and asked him if he could fix it. He looks it over and then he's like "Well.. let me see what I can find. You know what the stone means right?" Yeah yeah, I know what a carnelian is.

So he takes the stone out of the setting and throws the silver away and puts the stone on this display thing so he can look at it and he said something.. I can't remember what. And he said I should take it somewhere else to have it fixed. And we said a few other things then he's like why don't you come around the back and see the rest of the family. Ok.. this is getting weird but for some reason I do. And he asks me to go out the front and go around back.

So I take my carnelian and I go out front and I make my way around and it's this gorgeous lot with dogs running around and cats and there's a porch screened in. And I step up and go inside and he's talking to these older people seated around a round wooden table. They all stop when I come in. And he urges me forward and they're all smiling at me and stuff. And then I realize that I'd been there with Dad at some point. And so we go in the kitchen and he gives me a mug of tea to drink and says some stuff then asks me if I've given any thought to what I'm doing with my future.

I told him that I had no idea I was just waiting for Jason to get back from Iraq. And he said I should look into my touch therapy and taking some training classes for it. And reaches over and grabs my head as he says it, shaking me lightly then lets go. And I'm like.. I've thought about that.. my mother in law's sister is starting a reflexology massage spa type thing. And he says I should definitely do it.

And so like we talk a little bit more and he says something about I have to live up to my name and walk my path. And then I'm heading out and there's these three girls that are leaving or coming.. something. Neices I think. And they're going out the porch and the dogs are all barking and being a pain and the cats are swarming the porch exits and whenever the sunlight hits them they yowl and hiss and growl and smoke some and start to light on fire. And the guy's like damnit those damn dogs infected the cats and it was weird. So I like push one of the cats that are on the porch on the side I'm at the only one there and it goes out into the sun and explodes into flames. Then something woke me up.

Dream Police 2/11/05

Murr: would start to dream something about a field and a big farm house and then this guy would like filter in through the dream and say no you can't go there, try a different one and I'd wake up cause the cats did something else then would go back to sleep and it'd be the same thing
Reyn: ahh
Murr: finally fell asleep for good around... 11 or so I guess and dreamt about Dean and Sam instead except they were vampires I think and talking about how wrong it was on so many levels for them to be like that, never did anything except argue and bitch

I guess whatever was at the farm house someone was telling me I wasn't allowed to dream out there. Fuckers. Wonder what it was?

Vice Principal 1/4/06

Wow.. so it's been a while since I had anything substantial enough to put in here, and now I have this dream. Strange. It's kind of long, and there's a lot of detail it's gonna lose some in translation but I'm gonna try.

It started off strange. Mom was still alive. I'm female. We're like at the V.A. for her to get treatments or something. Things are more high tech in the dream than they are now. More technology. I'm like.. me as I am now I think, except not as young. I'm at least as old as I am now.

Walking out of the V.A. and trying to convince mom to just let me get the car there the quick way (which I have no idea how that is) and she keeps saying no no, and... run into Reyn. Almost literally. Jon and Joey are there too. Reyn's female. She was there for something, sick. I don't know if we knew each other before this or not in the dream but we kinda smiled at each other for a bit stupidly and mom's like.. she starts rambling going on about herself like usual and Reyn just kinda rolls her eyes and nods and tries to do the edge away run for safety thing. And details are fading here but mom winds up giving Reyn all her V.A. tickets for some kind of quick long distance travelling or something. And Reyn kinda watches me then leaves.

And I bitched and bitched at mom for doing that cause it meant that we had to walk home. Which we start to do.. and the dream kinda fades here I don't remember what happens between then and getting to the school.

Aaannnddd.. then I'm at the school. It's not like an elementary school or high school or anything it's just... a school. There are people there of all ages. Kids, adults, older adults.. I'm there, people I recognize from the past, a lot of people I don't. Reyn's there, Jon's there. And here I was friends with Jon, close friends. We're goofing off having fun and just being general pains, not getting school work done.. which I thik pretty much consisted of psi work. Which means it was back to another one of the schools for gifted people. I've had too many of these dreams. So anyways Reyn comes over and she bitches at Jon to do his work and then bitches at me for giving him an excuse not to, and I told her to relax and forget about it. That if he couldn't have fun while he's learning he'll never be able to do it, or remember it. And we started talking some more about other stuff.

Then.. like these competitions start up around school and there's all these really stupid things going on. Some normal stuff like cheerleading and sports, and other things are like.. who can levitate the ball the highest or who can fill up a room with the most energy, etc. And right in the middle of all the stuff going on, something huge hits the school. I think it was just an energy blast but we never found out in the dream. A lot of people are dying, a lot more are dead. And I'm like scrambling trying to find all the people I'm close to and the vice principal of the school is freaking out trying to get everyone to calm down and stop the mass hysteria so they can try and get things under control and she comes and finds me and takes me to the offices and makes me use an amplifier thing to soothe everyone, almost to like a zombie like state, that's how well it worked. People just stopped dead and kind of smiled and didn't do anything else.

And then.. I know Jon was still there, and some other people I knew but Reyn was gone. Not like dead gone just.. disappeared gone. And these people came and wanted to know what was going on, while I was still in the office. They didn't seem like the type of people you really wanna answer to.. if they were even people but the VP said that we'd been hit, and were trying to get the situation under control and they wanted to know who all was in charge here and she said that she was taking command, and putting me in second. *big jaw drop here* I tried arguing my way out of it and she refused and the people started roaming the school looking for.. something, I don't know.

And so a little bit of time passes a couple of days and we've got most of the dead and the wounded moved to where they need to be and we're trying to get everyone else out of there except we can't just leave we have to.. fly out of there. And I keep asking Jon where Reyn is and he's like I don't know I don't know but she's on her way back. And so.. they're trying to train everyone to do the things they need to in order for us to get out of there, and they've got me trying to learn how to remote pilot one of the carrier ships, and I'm still trying to talk my way out of it and not doing very well because more and more people are trying to come to me for my approval and advice, and I keep being sent back to the offices to use the amplifier to keep everyone calm.

And then Reyn shows back up, finally. She'd had to fly back there from somewhere else. Some people got transfered in the energy blast, somehow. And when she found out I was second in command she blew up and I tried to give her the position but nobody would let me so I'm helping her learn how to do everything anyways because I'm just not.. meant.. to be that kind of leader, and she's learning to pilot the ships and then another blast came and I heard the knock knock on yahoo.

Don't I know you? EMT 12/16/05 (Non Dream)

So it's official. I'm never leaving the house again. I'm used to getting lots of "Don't I know you?"'s but this is just starting to get too creepy. And too many all around the same time.

So I went to pay a couple bills, and I stopped in a gas station to get a pepsi. There's an EMT inside with his partner, at the register. One pays for his stuff and heads back out, the other is finishing up paying and turns, starts to go then stops and glances at me.

"Don't I know you?"
I dunno, it's possible. *smile*
"Yeah... yeah I do. You're Jade."
I'm... sorry I don't remember your name.
"Oh it's alright, I don't mean from here. I'm Randy though."
*gawd you're cute this is fucked up what the hell is going on here*
Oh.. you mean from the ah.. *nod*
"Yeah, from there. Nice meeting up with people here isn't it?"
Yeah, yeah it is.
*as his radio goes off and he grimaces*
"I've got to get back to work, but you take care."

What the hell is up with this lately?

The puzzle within a nightmare within a dream 12/16/05

Ok so in the dream I was like going to school and I was female.. and I'd been out a lot sick or something and people were asses blah blah. And I guess I had mono or something. So I was back and not really doing much just going around to my classes and this one teacher was having me do a role call and I was marking people that were there on a big white board with their pictures on it, painting X's over their faces with white out. It was kind of strange..

So I went home after school and crawled in bed, I had a brother and sister. We all slept in the same big bed. Went to sleep after a while and I thought the dream just shifted but.. it was like something that came out of a really bizarre creepy horror movie. There was this supreme evil thing in a house and it was affecting everybody in it.. my family. And they would get mean and get creepy and then they'd disappear like my parents did and then... I was asleep with my sisters, which was when I realized that in the dream in the dream I was male, and one of them rolled over and she started sinking through the bed into this acidy fleshy stuff and screaming and it swallowed her up whole through the bed. Ate her alive. And I was like screaming and trying to get her out and I couldn't save her and then I snatched my other sister off the bed and I woke up.

And.. as I woke up in the dream and started looking to see if my brother and sister were ok I woke up in r/l. Looked at the clock, thought fuck me that was strange I'm glad I woke up, and went back to sleep after a few minutes.. only to pick back up in the dream.

My sister was gone. We were having to try and deal with that. And I went to school, gawd knows why and everyone was staring at me like it was my fault and I'd had something to do with my sister disappearing. Lots of whispering and other bullshit.

Went home from school had to go through the woods to get there and it's like a typical horror movie scene. Creepy woods, light fading away, lots of wind and leaves whipping around all over the place and the urgent sense to hurry up and get the fuck out of there. So I get home and my parents aren't there just my brother and he's like "Something's not right we need to get out of here now."

Right.. so I like called someone.. someone paranormal that I thought might be able to help. And she told me that I had to go back into the dream and fix it, nothing else would work, we'd only get taken too. So I curl up in my brother's arms and try to go to sleep and he's petting me saying don't do it you're gonna get lost too. *sighs*

So.. I went back into the dream and I'm male again and I run through the house trying to find my sister so I can get her out of there and somewhere safe while I try to figure out what's going on and get my other sister and parents back and.. I look through the whole place and wind up in our bedroom downstairs and throw back the covers on the bed.. and then pulled the rest of the sheets off so it was down to mattress and in the middle where I slept was a normal patch of bed, and on both sides where my sisters slept was the acidy fleshy stuff that swallows them alive. And I'm like screaming in frustration and screaming at whoever's behind this to show themselves.

This dream was just too fucking strange. There was a dark voice that like thundered through the house and asked me what I was expecting to find. There wasn't anyone else there and there hadn't been for years. Didn't I remember that? I'd killed my family and been thrown in a psych ward for it and they had just let me out.

.......................

And I like start having flashbacks of killing my parents and my sisters and throwing all their bodies in the bed and throwing acid on them to try and make the bodies go away.

.......................

And so.. I woke up screaming.. Except when I woke up from the dream within the dream I woke up into my brother's body and the screaming was my sister because I'd just stabbed her and started trying to eviscerate her......... And then I woke up again and I was in the female body and I took the knife and stabbed it into my brother's throat and cut out his wind pipe and started sobbing.

And then I really did wake up again. And I went and took a shower to get the blood off my hand. Blood on my hand and a huge bruise on my arm that's faded some to a smaller bruise but it's still there. I wanna know what the fuck that was about and why I'm having nightmares like this again.

Ask a Question 12/12/05

Murr: I'm not sure if it was a dream dream or a complex dream but..
Murr: I was on duty in the monitoring station by myself and trying to stay awake cause the cats kept waking me up all morning and I was finally like ok I know you guys can hear me, I wanna ask a question and remember the answer to it
Murr: and so after a bit a voice finally said you're stubborn, you've asked this before but ask again
Murr: so I asked if I was male or female, and they said both.. was like ok..
Murr: both as in how?
Murr: and they said something along the lines of you were female and we needed another empath that already knew operations so we made a separate you and it was male, no more questions
Murr: and I sat the arguing to the silence that I still had more questions for like a half hour
Reyn: ahh
Reyn: yeah but...we already knew that
Murr: they wouldn't let me ask any other questions
Reyn: so ok..you sometimes go there as a female then?
Reyn: but the ones that's there is male
Reyn: was thinking you know
Murr: yeah
Reyn: they only pull the female you in when the other is unable to go for some reason
Murr: that's what I was thinking
Reyn: which would explain why there's two of you there sometimes
Murr: I was trying to ask if we were on atlantis or involved with it but they wouldn't let me verbalize that
Reyn: even if you could get better jobs and take care of yourself
Reyn: we take people from the star gates to complexes or colonies
Reyn: other clones and to villages and places where they need to go safely
Reyn: from the gates
Murr: yes
Reyn: or to the gates
Reyn: sometimes we only have a map to get there
Reyn: sometimes we have to find something on the way also if possible
Murr: was just trying to see if I could get a response on where everything is, or when
Reyn: does it really matter? it's all kind of the same bebe
Reyn: thats what I think anyway
Murr: well since I went to bed thinking about how to make it up to Ren, I dunno why it came up at all
Reyn: cause you've been wondering
Reyn: consciously and unconsciously

At the Mall (Non Dream) 12/10/05

Today has to be the strangest day I've ever had complex related. I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried, and trust me I did try, for three hours. So I finally gave up and got out of bed and had this nagging sensation to go to the mall. No reason for me to go. There's nothing I wanted to buy and I hate the crowds and window shopping. Never the less the nagging sensation kept up so I gave into it and went. Looked around for a bit, wound up in the movie store and bought a couple dvd's then I headed out to the food court to get something to eat and then leave. This guy bumps into me.

I'd noticed him a few times while I was walking through the mall but hadn't really paid him any mind. Yet there he is, bumping into me non-apologetically and then just standing there watching me expectantly. So finally I gave in and spoke.

me: "Hi.. sorry."
"I'm not. So it is you then."
me: "Huh? Excuse me?"
"Oh you don't recognize me? Well, thanks for your help the other day anyways. Wouldn't have made it without you and your buddy."

ok whoa..... so it's complex related

me: "Oh, wow, ok sorry.. no I don't recognize you, but you're welcome."
"Nah, don't worry about it. Oh and by the way, I'd still do you."
me: "Huh?" *blush* "Well thanks..."
*huge grin on his part* "You blush here too, nice."
me: "So you like remember stuff from there? Did you wanna sit down and talk? Or do you have an email or yahoo I could get hold of you at?"
"You know it's against the rules, don't bother. I'm glad I ran into you though, I thought it was you when I saw you looking at the sci-fi movies. Have a good one, blusher."

And that was it. He walked off before I could convince him otherwise. Gawd and he was fucking hot too. Drowning pool eyes. How damn bizarre is that?? I wish I could have gotten him to sit down and talk or.. something anything. *mumbles*

Complex, Sore Throat 12/6/05

So.. I'm not sure what all was going on but I slept from 8-4 and woke up to Reyn's buzz... something on a mission had just slammed a sharp pointy object into the side of my neck, twisted, and jerked it free. I can barely swallow, keep coughing... I'm almost like expecting blood. Think we must have had a healer around I have no marks from it what so ever I checked.. I just still can hardly swallow.

I don't remember anything else from it.

Do I Look Like A Real Cop? 11/30/05

So I was like in Louisiana with my in-laws and J wasn't around.. and my brother in-law Jarod had gotten his driver's permit and he wanted to take me out to McDonald's to go eat.. so he convinced his mom that he wasn't hungry for pizza and dragged me out.. and he's driving his dad's truck and like runs a red light getting there and he has an antenna or something setup for his mom's cell phone in her suv and she's behind us driving?

So we got there and there's like this huge kind of.... fun obstacle course or something setup.. and you have to go through it to get into the building? So we go up and we're like talking and catching up and stuff and you have to climb up this huge swinging catwalk thing that gets progessively higher up and there's like all these girls complaining about it and we just kept going.

Finally get inside and we start eating and everything and then my dad shows up and says he needs my help for something so I told Jarod to stay put and I'd come back for him. Go with Dad.. he has to pick up something from a party at the Circle (the bar he goes to up in SD) and I wind up having to play bartender for a bit while he talks to people.. and someone asked me if I was pregnant and that was when I realized that I was female.. and.. yup.. pregnant.. wtf? So I'm like yeah and she starts gushing saying how great I look and I shouldn't be working and dad finishes up and I go with him and he has me drive... and it's his damn beat up Willis pickup truck.. so we're driving and I'm like killing my arms trying to get the steering wheel to turn and all..

And Dad looks over at me and he's like calling someone on his cell and he says "Do I look like a real cop when I'm calling you?" was like... ok wtf is this.. "Yeah.. well at least you do it with confidence and that's what makes a difference.." and then Reyn came on and I woke up.

There was more to it than that, but it's all faded now. I remember something vaguely from the complex where I had refused to do the experiment but I don't remember any specifics.. strange ass night.. not sure what all that was about.

Khalara, Complex, and.. More Searching 11/28/05

So it started off the same way they're all starting lately.. think I seriously need some release. Dream switched to Khalara then.. with Charlie helping Alex in his office, and the Morrigan appeared out of nowhere with a prophecy.. I can't remember the words. I dunno what started Khalara again.. but was like checking up on how everyone was.. lots of women either were pregnant or had their babies already and the Duils and Jolie were perfecting their combining/attack thing.. I dunno. Anyways.. Switched to the complex for a while. More of the I can't believe you agreed to do the experiment you have to change your mind I won't let you do it, you're on my team, I'm your team leader I get a say in this so you AREN'T doing it.. more pushing and shoving and fighting and make up. Woke up briefly from that and went back to sleep.. it was.. I was in Memphis or somwhere, it looked familiar.. and I was tagging along with this group of four people. Doing research for something.. some archaeological dig or treasure hunt.. like usual, lately. Anyways we... were at a restaurant discussing what our next move was, and this guy shows up and says.. "I know you don't trust me, but you're just going to have to because I know where the obelisks are." So.. we argued over that a bit then had him sit down and we started making plans to go find the obelisk which was out in Samaria (present day.. Jordan) and then another one was in the Gobi Desert. The obelisks had keys to something else we had to find, then the keystones get put into the obelisks and.. something happens, I dunno what. Too much of it has faded now. *sighs*

Car Chase 11/28/05

Murr: started off dreaming about charlie and bryan, then it sequed into charlie and tyler then it was charlie and chris then the cat knocked something over and went back to sleep and started this strange dream about driving around santa monica or somethin with J, following you, you were leading us somewhere
Murr: and we turned down a side street and ran into a fence and the engine killed and flooded and wouldn't start again and J was bitching at me about it being my fault
Reyn: ahh
Murr: and you called and started laughing about you knew I couldn't keep up and I told you what happened and you're like shit I'll turn around
Murr: and J kept bitching and got out of the car and went to talk to the lady that owned the house and came back and started to bitch at me again and the fucker called and woke me up

Basketball? switched to Complex 11/27/05

I was female.. and hanging out with a bunch of girls, and we were like in school or something. And there are all these rulles and regulations and restrictions about the things you're allowed to do, or when you can do them, and you have to follow them or you'll be killed or corporal punishment or something.. anyways. So I'm dating this guy and he's a basketball player and we just want to have sex and make out and we keep trying to sneak off to do it except they keep calling him to come play so he has to go or it's back to the death/punishment thing. So he goes and plays and I go and bitch to the girls I was hanging out with.. and one of them says "you were so much easier to get along with when you were a guy"
..............
........................
Ok so then something woke me up right after.

Got back to sleep. Dream changed to... I was back to being my usual dream self and in the complex and we just got back from a mission and were debriefing then winding down and went and found Reyn and he was telling me that he can't believe I'd even consider going through with their experiment and doing the sex change and we started arguing about that heatedly.. to the point of shoving and hitting and then it just.. went elsewhere from that. *coughs* So... yeah.


Sex change???????

Murr: I have no fucking clue where that came from
Murr: some experimental thing they were doing to see if it heightened abilities

Atlantis RP 11/27/05

Ok so chars wet dreams are messed up, and.. so when you start speaking to yourself in your dreams in riddles, about roleplay, you know there's something seriously wrong. Was dreaming about Charlie dreaming about Atlantis. He mumbled some stuff to himself when he woke up:

the key lies within

for memories untold, look within
your mind expands, and soon draws thin
take not from the past, for it's long since gone
the answers you seek can be found in the dawn


Anyways.. so there it is. Found a couple Atlantean fonts earlier too, will do something with it and pass it on. I think it's nonsense, because it doesn't really mean much no triggers, but it goes with the rp thing with Alysa so I'll just leave it at that.